SCENE 1: Interior, apartment kitchen. Mid-morning.
ME: I need to use up this heavy cream before it goes bad … think I’ll make some creamy grits to go with my omelet.
CONSCIENCE: Really? That is a seriously unhealthy breakfast. Couldn’t you just use water? Or even skim milk?
ME: You know what? Just for that, I’m going to add some crispy pancetta in there, too.
CONSCIENCE: (Shakes head.) Could you at least use what’s left of that bag of spinach in the fridge, and add it to the omelet?
ME: Oh wow, great idea! I’ll cook it in the pancetta drippings!
CONSCIENCE: Nevermind. I give up.